Make-up

March 17, 2009

Oh no, I’ve turned you into a massiver gay than you already were!” – Kerry Freeman, 14/03/09

This was my girlfriend’s reaction to my recent conversion to drinking wine after years of staying away. I’m not entirely sure that drinking wine was at my most ‘gay’ as she is yet to see these photos.

Manscara and guyliner. Make-up for guys. You can buy it in shops like Superdrug! I would have bought these products but as a student I am waaaaay too poor to be splashing out on such “luxuries”, so I borrowed them off a friend.

It’s not to everyones taste, but I thought I would go a bit experimental and see what the appeal is and just how easy it is to apply. Here are the results…

It’s definately not worth it! The manscara wasn’t so bad to put on, but the guyliner hurts and it makes you look like a drag queen. No offence to the drag queens out there.

The worst part is that it’s a pain in the bloody arse to get off, something I found out when I did this the first time – the pictures didn’t come out so I had to do it again – and as my friend Francis pointed out, I wasn’t the only thing running in the gym… my make-up was too.

Manscara and guyliner… no thanks.

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What’s in your man bag?

March 10, 2009

“Stuart, I’m interested on your stance with regards to man-bags… I’ve found recently I have so many things to carry round (wallet, mp3, keys, phone, blusher) that my pockets bulge to the point where I look like a shit cowboy…what is your solution?”Francis Riordan Loughran, 05/03/09

Well Francis, I cannot help you on the fact you look like a shit cowboy. I believe that is all you. However, I will tell you my stance on the man bag situation…

Don’t go there.

Francis and the contents of his man bag

Francis and the contents of his man bag

The man bag may be useful for, as you say, your wallet and blusher (or maybe your ‘manscara’ and ‘guyliner’) but it really doesn’t do much for the image. What is wrong with a plain old rucksack? Or, go American and get out the fanny-pack? Although both would be less fashionable in the eyes of Gok Wan, the ridicule from your mates would be less.

However, according to the fountain of knowledge that is Wikipedia, More Th>n insurance company carried out a survey on man bags earlier this year. Apparently, eight out of ten men in the UK carry one with the contents valued at an average price of £650.

So, if this stat were true, 80% of my male friends would be wearing a man bag. So if I take all my friends on Facebook, divide by two (to cut out the women), and times by 0.8, then that means 221 (approx) of my friends are wearing man bags. Shocking statistics.

Cristiano Ronaldo with man bag

Cristiano Ronaldo with man bag... or is that a washing bag?

Something tells me that either Wikipedia is lying again, or More Th>n weren’t entirely representative in their survey taking. Also, where has this contents figure of £650 come from? What are people carrying around in their man bag? That is some expensive blusher.

The thing is, men need not emasculate themselves for the sake of a bag, despite the practicalities. If the jeans are too tight that you can’t get anything in the pockets… well, buy looser jeans. Simple. After your phone, keys, wallet and mp3, if you can’t fit something in your pocket, it’s just not worth having.

The pockets on men’s jeans are big enough that they should be the extension of the ‘man drawer’ that Michael McIntyre harps on about. Our pockets are made to accommodate Phillips screwdrivers and Allen keys galore.

Man bag I hear you say, Francis? No need. Just buy bigger jeans.

What is your opinion of the man bag? Should men wear them or not? Leave a comment and tell me!