The final post…

April 22, 2009

The final post
After two months of gruelling work… well, just work, the blog has finally come to an end. Make-up, straighteners and tears have gone into writing this. Emotional? Fancy a little cry? Well don’t, it’s unmanly. Or is it?

A distraught reader

A distraught reader

I have been trying to create debate over these past two months about what is acceptable and what isn’t by the modern male. At times, debate has lacked, such as in a previous post I was asked what sandwich I had, a minor detail of the post, rather than debating my points. Thanks Kerry.

It also seems guys have been hiding somewhere, not sure where, but somewhere in a place where they don’t comment on blogs. Come on guys, this is about you!

It may seem at times the writing has been quite hypocritical in that I believe that it is okay to use straighteners, then go on a rant and champion their cause, then go off on one about how I hate wearing pink.

Yes, arguments may have, at times, been unbalanced, but you should respect my opinion, even if you don’t like it, and then leave a comment to debate it. It seems guys were more willing to give me verbal feedback, or text me, or MSN me, or Facebook me… but not comment on the blog!

Anyway, this all sounds a little too serious for the blog. I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I have done writing it. So, for one last time, the poll is in… Is Zac Efron the unmanliest guy EVER?

You mop that brow Zefron! It was close, hence the sweating, but you arent the most unmanly guy... yet

You mop that brow Zefron! It was close, hence the sweating, but you aren't the most unmanly guy... yet

52% of you said… No!

It was close, so we are still searching for the unmanliest guy. Could it be YOU? I’m going to leave the poll up still in the hope that it will change!

Anyway…

Hopefully this blog has proven that you don’t have to be a stereotypical alpha male all the time, doing the unmanly thing doesn’t necessarily make you gay. It just makes you less straight. Ha! Jokes.

I hope you have learnt a few lessons from this, like how to execute a good handshake, Scott and Ryan did, or that it is really okay to listen to music that 12-year-old girls like, such as McFly. There are some valuable life lessons in this for you.

Anyway, no more ramblings, please look around the rest of the site and have a look at older posts!

Thanks again for reading.

Stuart

p.s. This site is top of the 2nd page, or 11th place, in a Google search if you type the word ‘unmanly’. Tidy.

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Manshakes, The Apprentice and drunken arguments

April 17, 2009

First of all, it seems as though my handshake post had an influence on a couple of people, namely Ryan Walker and Scott Wilkins (who scored 2/10 and 5/10 respectively).

I was greeted not by limp, wet kipper, but in fact by two firm manshakes with added eye contact and smiles. Scott even through in a cheeky wink, just for good measure.

Anyway, handshake improvements all round, well done lads.

Philip The Apprentice Taylor, not to be confused with Phil The Power Taylor

Philip The Apprentice Taylor, not to be confused with Phil The Power Taylor

Secondly, moving on to my favourite show of the week, The Apprentice. I was too busy laughing at Ben’s aggressive performance in the boardroom (“Let’s talk about £5 and £700 if you want to talk about idiots”) to notice that Philip wears make-up and straightens his hair.

Adrian Chiles pointed this out for me on The Apprentice: You’re Fired. It takes a brave man to admit this on national telly, whether you consider it unmanly or not. I commend you on your bravery, Phil, but not on the make-up. Maybe I’m just jealous he carries it off better than I did.

Round One - Ryan (Top) vs Scott (Bottom)

Round One - Ryan (Top) vs Scott (Bottom)

And finally, moving on to last night’s shenanigans. After a lovely evening of throwing shapes all across the dance floor, I was looking forward to enjoying my Subway sandwich on the way home in the car.

Unfortunately, my moment with the sandwich was ruined by what can only be described as petty squabbling on the back seat.

I’m not sure what started the debate, but Ryan and Scott, now buoyed by their handshake improvements, went on for half an hour about whether drinking a VK is as manly as drinking a beer.

As it got more heated (I blame the Stella at £1.30 a bottle), I got more involved and somehow accusations were soon running rife of me wearing pink. I can guarantee this has never happened (silly hats don’t count).

However, their squabbling backed-up what my blog is all about. One of them asked the other (I can’t remember which way round it was) why is it considered more manly to drink beer? The other replied that it’s like why boys wear blue and girls wear pink. There is no reasoning, it’s all about society.

I feel that over the past few weeks, this blog has created debates amongst my friends, which is what I set out to achieve. Keep debating guys! I’m sure this isn’t the last I will hear from Scott and Ryan… await round two.


It’s all in the handshake

April 11, 2009

When you walk into a situation where you don’t know people and are trying to impress, you have to follow certain rules.

Okay, your hair immaculately groomed with the use of straighteners, your pink shirt is ironed to perfection and you are still high off the feel-good factor from the Hugh Grant film you watched earlier. It’s a good start and you are now ready to greet people.

A textbook handshaker

A textbook handshaker

You clock your first victim, you greet with a simple hello, you give them a smile and then brace yourself for the most important part of the introduction… the handshake.

It’s make or break time, it must be a firm grip. But what if it’s not, what if you go in there with a limp handshake? You’ve pretty much ruined any chance of a prospective friendship/relationship/job. You need to attack people with your hand.

For anyone who has seen Michael McIntyre live, they may realise the concept of this post may not be original – the content of it is though – and for those who haven’t, well, I couldn’t find a YouTube link, so go buy the DVD.

Nobody likes a limp handshake and they hate the limp handshaker more for what may as well be a wet kipper held out to greet you. All they were looking for a manly embrace of the hand.

It makes me shudder when I get limp-shaken. It’s just not nice. So, in the past week since I have been back for the Easter break, I have assessed some of the handshakes received from friends:

A Ryan Walker handshake

A Ryan Walker handshake

Ryan Walker2/10 – I got well and truly kippered. There was so much limp in this. Then again, with those scrawny hands without much meat, it’s never going to be a firm hand. Also, grumpy expressions don’t bode well with me.

Scott Wilkins5/10 – Could be a better grip as it is a little loose. Again, small hands are not the best for handshakes.

Ross Firth7/10 – Not bad. Had this been the first time meeting him, it would have been a good first impression. Needed to be a bit chirpier in the greeting to get a higher mark.

Tom Hayman9/10 – It was just a genuinely nice handshake from a genuinely nice guy. Firm, solid, had the whole package with beaming smile and eye-contact. Good work.

If we lived in a world of Tom Hayman’s, the world would be a better place.


Zac Efron

March 26, 2009

As I am busy writing a post, I get a message off a friend on MSN…

The unmanliest of men?

The unmanliest of men?

beck. says:
get to london. the most unmanliest man is at his movie premier.
beck. says:
zefron. high school musical & hairspray extraordinaire.
stui says:
haha!!!!
beck. says:
i swear if i had even £5 i’d be there at that premier.
stui says:
why’s that?
beck. says:
because I love him and his ridiculous gay-face
beck. says:
i mean he goes to tanning beds for christs sake.
beck. says:
moisturises etc. apparently it takes him longer than his missus to get ready too.

So is Zac Efron the unmanliest man in the world? Debate this please, and vote in the poll located on the sidebar.

And the results of the last poll concluded that…

Men should NOT cry at films.

It was close but 54% of you thought not to just edge it.


Curls are for girls

March 24, 2009

Do you often walk down the street and wonder how guys get their golden locks looking good? Then wish yours were as good as theirs? Well, they are probably using hair straighteners.

hair-straightenersThere are five people living in my uni house, of which three of us own hair straighteners. As for the other two, one gets a haircut every four days so his hair is immaculate and trim, and the other one… well there are no excuses for his mullet.

I don’t think men should use them to be honest, unless you‘ve got long hair. You shouldn’t, nor should Chris,” says Ed Poulter, as I tell him what I am writing about right now.

The fact is, Edward, a lot of blokes do use them in this day and age.

Last summer I decided growing my hair long was a great idea, which in hindsight, it really wasn’t (as many people reminded me on a daily basis).

But without the use of hair straighteners, it would have been a total disaster. It took me from this…

To this…

Okay, now this was an exaggeration, but the point is that hair straighteners only help to enhance the outlook of your hair.

When I first went to uni, I started using my mates hair straighteners, though we often called them by their codename. “Can I borrow your ‘weights’?”pinkweights1

I think people probably saw through this codename, so to spare more embarrassment, I plucked up the courage to get my own so I could do it on the sly in my bedroom… but then immediately bottled it so a friend had to buy them for me.

Once I had them, along with some TRESemmé hair protection spray, I never turned them off. Sometimes, literally, as the hole in my carpet back home shows (sorry Dad).

Personally, it leaves my often unkempt hair looking straight and exactly how I like it” – Nick Brough.

Well said Nick.

I was told as a child that eating your crusts gives you curly hair. Scientifically, I don’t know if this is true, but kids are gullible. However, it may well explain why my hair curls as it gets longer. Instead of getting a hair cut every week, why now just straighten it out? Buying straighteners seemed like a small expense next to continuous cutting.

One other thing I was told was…

Curls are for girls.

Therefore, use hair straighteners. The results will make you feel like this guy:


I got ‘Notebooked’, will you?

March 2, 2009

One of my friends, ‘Mr F’, has recently started seeing a girl, and here is a conversation he had with one of his mates the other day:

Mr B: Have you been ‘Notebooked’ yet?
Mr F: What do you mean?
Mr B: Has she made you made you watch the Notebook yet?
Mr F: No.
Mr B: Well, don’t do it cos it will make you cry.

Mr B

Mr B

I piped up at this point and said that I had been ‘Notebooked’, not by my girlfriend, but by my male housemate.

Now, I don’t know whether this was a wise idea, like letting people know that I had seen McFly three times, but I am prone to these little slips. Then again, Mr B was the one who talked about crying.

Blokes seem to not watch these films, and I don’t think it’s the fear of crying making them avoid movies like The Notebook, a great movie and even better book (apparently, I don’t do reading), it is the title of ‘chick flick’.

The only exception is when they watch these movies with the missus because they are safe in the knowledge that they are reluctantly watching it to keep her sweet… or are they?

The excitement of getting Ps I Love You for Xmas was obvious to see

The excitement of getting Ps I Love You for Xmas was obvious to see

There are many films out there which class as chick-flicks that I have thoroughly enjoyed, such as Ps I Love You, which, much to my delight and surprise, my girlfriend bought me for Christmas. I wonder what she is trying to say? Perhaps that I harp on about that film ALL the time.

But that is because these films can actually be quite amusing and are very easy to watch, if not a little soppy even and predictable, but are ignorantly dismissed before watching because of their genre classing.

Many people will know about my love of Hugh Grant films. Well, this comes from my Dad’s incessant viewing of Notting Hill, where Hugh, as ever, plays the type-cast charismatic, witty and loveable rogue. Grant is the modern hero of the rom-com.

Hugh 'Rom-Com' Grant

Hugh 'Rom-Com' Grant

There will be many closet-Grant fans out there. When you’ve watched action and horror films to death and your Tom Cruise adrenaline rushes fade, kicking back and watching timeless classics such as About a Boy will more than fill the void of Top Gun.

There will be many doubters out there, but I tell you to embrace these types of films, whether you watch with your mates or your girlfriend. However, Mr F, if you do get ‘Notebooked’, I feel that crying may do you more harm than good in the eyes of your mates and your new lady.


How to know if you’re a ‘metrosexual’ by some ridiculous test

February 26, 2009

Ever wondered whether you are a metrosexual? No, me neither. Well, apparently these are the telling signs.

I found this little questionnaire on howtodothings.com. Here is a quick breakdown of the questions and my answers:

1. Do gay men hit on you? Yes
2. Do you carry a purse? No, but my Dad does.
3. How do you feel about your socks? Ridiculous question. They keep my feet warm.
4. Do you wear tighty whities? Ha, no.
5. Do you use more than one product in your hair? Yes
6. Have you ever used hair removal services other than shaving? No
7. Do you receive spa services? No
8. Do you borrow products from the women in your life? Not that they know of…

Stupid questionnaire, I’ve gained nothing from that apart from the knowledge that metrosexuals really care about their socks. To see this in depth, click here.

p.s. Can anyone please tell me the definition of a metrosexual sock? Cheers!